It Keeps Piling On

I slept for crap last night. I mentioned before that the house we are currently living in is going to be sold, but in the meantime, I am being placed in the middle of a battle that is brewing amongst the owners. All but one are friends of mine, they are siblings, and this house is the estate of their mother’s. The battle is coming from the fact that the executrix of the estate has all but vanished, only responding to text messages once in a blue moon. There are things about this estate that aren’t being managed properly, and there is talk of removing the executrix from her position. The main problem with this is that I now have two siblings telling me that I need to give them the rent. I feel immensely torn, yet completely frustrated with the executrix (mainly because she is my best friend, and she has been extremely neglectful).

Other than that, I have gotten some writing done. The sci-fi project my friend is working on has been going well, and she is letting me write out the history of the universe that the characters inhabit. It’s been fun so far. I’ve gotten about three installments written as of now, and hope that once the stress has died down I can continue.

My gaming has also taken a backseat for the past few weeks. I haven’t been in the mood or I figure out the pacing and plot points of the adventure and then immediately forget. I’ve also been caught up with Mass Effect 3 and trying to get the perfect ending; as well as South Park: Stick of Truth, which is as funny and wrong as the show itself. I am hoping that things can die down enough so that my creativity can start flowing again. I hate this weight on my chest.

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Almost Six Months Later…

Yeah…this blog has seemingly become an experiment in futility.

As stated before, I intended to do this daily, if not at least once a week. Those plans went away when we moved to our new place and life kind of got complicated. Between bills piling up and a roommate who was taxing not only our food budget but our patience as well, this little blog got lost in the move. It naturally also doesn’t help that I had forgotten which site I had set this blog up with. I was only reminded this morning after waking up and realizing that I needed to clean out my inbox.

Since moving to the house, my writing has unfortunately taken a backseat. The B.S. that had been piling up had prevented me from sitting down and working on anything. And now, as it has been announced that our house is being sold, another move is in order. Hopefully the next place will mean less stress over monies and bills. Who knows.

In nerd news, I have been continuing the gaming with the housemates. The roommate I complained about before with his insistence to forget names has improved dramatically. He has improved so much that there has been a request from everyone to continue the game beyond the current storyline. So that is always a bonus. As far as the other gaming group is concerned…well, I went against my better judgment and told them we could get together. Nothing changed there. The plan was to get together around 7pm, and they didn’t even bother showing up until 9. Now one of them (who ran a game we were playing in) wants to get together, but I am reluctant. They always say they can show up at 7, but never get here before 9. For someone who likes to be in bed around midnight, that is annoying.

So other than the move, the pesky roommate, and the alternative game group, nothing really major has been happening. Since my creative juices haven’t been flowing, I have agreed to help a friend of mine with her sci-fi novel. Apparently she realizes my greatness when it comes to designing aliens and the worlds they come from. It should be an interesting exercise…at least until I can get back to the pen and paper.

I swear my next update won’t be six months from now. Of course, no one knows what tomorrow brings.

Five Days Later…

Yikes…

I really meant to try and keep this blog updated on a daily basis, and didn’t even realize I hadn’t even looked at it in five days. Not that I am really updating this for anyone. As of now, only one friend even knows of this blog. I keep meaning to give my partner the link to it, but something always comes up. 

Other than that, in five days, nothing major has happened. Tried to game one night which probably shouldn’t have happened. I was tired and in pain. It resulted in me getting fed up with one of my players because he can’t seem to remember anything about the session. The names of NPCs, places, sometimes he can’t even remember how he pronounces his own character’s names. The other players have tried to tell him to take notes, but he has a weird aversion to paper that is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. I guess we will see how things will proceed in this particular game (as he is normally fine with the other games we play). This is the only game where knowing names is particularly important.

In other gaming news, I tried to get together with the other group that I am a part of. The key word for that statement is ‘tried’. They have been desperate to game, but I keep getting frustrated by their last minute ‘Oh yeah’s or just a lack of response. I had put a moratorium on gaming with them about a month ago when the ‘Oh yeah’s got ridiculous. I don’t understand making plans, but then bringing up something that you somehow forgot that is pretty important. In this instance, one of the players, who is in school, somehow forgot when his finals were. So after postponing our session for hours because he somehow forgot his finals were due on the day we had planned to get together on a week pryor, all of a sudden, another excuse was thrown out. The session was cancelled and I was furious (after having already gotten ready…after being told they were going to be on their way).

Fast forward to Wednesday. We arrange to get together on Friday. We agreed to do a potluck. I asked what I could bring that didn’t conflict with what they were serving. I didn’t hear anything back. Thursday I ask again, as my partner was going to be heading to the store and I wouldn’t have time to go to the store on the game day (I also had a doctor’s appointment). I still heard nothing. The day of the game is when I hear something from them. When it’s too late for me to go to the store.

Suffice to say, I cancelled out that day, and will only game with them once we can do it at our new house (which we will be moving to in less than two weeks), and the plans are set in stone.

I understand last minute ‘I’m not feeling well’ and stuff like that. But when it becomes the status quo, that’s when there is a problem.

Wow…didn’t mean to go on about that. Anyways, this week might bring gaming. If not, then it’s probably on to work on some writing project and lots of Star Trek watching.

And All the Little Marvel’s Agents

Tonight was the premier of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and I have to say I rather enjoyed it. I am going to have to catch it again on Hulu tomorrow, as I missed some of the beginning as I was cooking dinner. Seeing Agent Coulson again made me smile and Ming-Na Wen is always awesome to see. Her little bit of ass-kicking was nice to see. I am interested to see where they go with the rest of the cast. The teaser at the end made me do a bit of a nerdgasm. I grew up on Marvel Comics, and while the love affair has been over for about a year now (at least the comic book side anyway), I enjoy the hell out of the movies and now this.

You can definitely tell that this was done by Joss Whedon. The conversations definitely had his stamp all over it. I certainly hope that this doesn’t end up like his stint on Astonishing X-Men. Of course, he has a team of writers on this show, so there is a greater likelihood that it won’t crash and burn.

If things continue as they did in this first episode, then I will definitely keep tuning in.

Excelsior!

Another Day…

The day started off rather abruptly. Got a phone call from my doctor’s office telling me that they had to take another blood sample, as the previous one had clotted. I got to go eat breakfast with the love of my life, got my blood drawn, and then bought some boxes for our upcoming move. Upon arriving home, I ran the gauntlet of my everyday web-surfing and fielding requests about possibly getting my nerd on at some point this week. 

Other than that, there was an emotional bombshell dropped on a roommate that made him hate Murphy’s Law (as it always has a tendency to strike), and I thought that I would relax with watching some James Bond movies I bought the other day. I had never seen Doctor No, and it was the only Bond movie I had never seen. It was interesting, and naturally an artifact of the era it was made. Still enjoyed it, as it was spies and super-villains. 

I cooked dinner and started watching From Russia, With Love when I was contacted by a person within my ‘family’ (With the exception of my father, I have always held the belief you can choose your family). One of my closest friends, and the sibling of the person who contacted me, apparently is in the early stages of Congestive Heart Failure. I will be honest, finding that out made me tear up. I could never imagine my life without this person. When this person passes, I will be as devastated as if it was my father all over again.

Yet the news didn’t stop there. Apparently the sibling, and someone I consider the bratty older sister, was told that she is in the beginning stages of renal failure. They are uncertain whether or not they can reverse or fix the problem, and I am reminded that fate does have a certain twisted sense of humor about kicking you while you’re down.

All I can do is keep them in my thoughts as their struggles, and my own, continue. Suffice it to say, however, that my Bond watching is over for the night. I can’t wait for my partner to get home, so I can just be with him for a while before closing my eyes and letting this day just be over.

A silver lining to this gloomy day: I think I want to write again. Perhaps not an old project, but something new. I guess I will just see where my mind lets my fingers travel.

A Grim Reminder

Ok, so I thought that I would try to start a blog as a way to vent. It is also a place that I intend to do more than bitching. Yet as of now, the only thing that I have is something that happened today to let my fingers guide what I write.

Something that I read this morning made me think of someone dear to me that I lost. On August 3rd, 1996, I lost my father very suddenly. I still remember the very last conversation I had with him before he passed. I was staying at a friend’s house and had asked him to bring me clothes (as the stay was not originally intended to last more than a day). He was at work, and told me that he would swing by afterwards. I told him that I loved him. He said he loved me back. And, while it’s shameful to say, that was the last words we spoke. I only say that as I see too often that that is what most people regret never saying before their loved ones died.

The day progressed as normal. I played video games with my then-friend, David. I got a call that afternoon from my grandfather that my dad had collapsed. He was in a coma, and I discovered later that he had had a heart attack, a stroke, and an aneurism rolled into one. My Mother, who had been separated from my dad for fifteen years drove down from where she lived and my sister came as well. I was, naturally, devastated. The man had been the only family that treated me with any sense of worth or as a human being altogether. I spent a week wrestling with the decision that faced me as the family who claimed to love him either never showed up, or showed little to no empathy toward me.

So after a week, and a decision to turn off the life support, I said goodbye to my father. I said goodbye to my entire world that day. Shortly after my grandfather decided that I was no longer worth keeping around without my father, and my mother, sister, and extended family emotionally turned their backs on me as well (my mother, after my father passed, raided his wallet and took anything that was worth anything).

It was a struggle, and it has been one every day since his departure. But getting back on topic, I read something about keeping the things that meant something, and it kills me that everything of value that I had ever gotten from my father was taken from me. Anything of value was taken by my grandfather or tossed in the garbage by that man. It was as if after my father’s death, he (nor I) existed to the man. I was a nuisance, like I had always been. And through the constant moving I lost the tiny shreds that I was able to hold onto.

Since leaving my partner in 2006, I lost the last thing I had had; a picture from my high school graduation that was taken exactly one month before he died.

It kills me every day that I have forgotten my father’s face. It kills me that I cannot even remember what his voice sounds like. I was not always a well-behaved child, and what kills me most is that I was never able to get to know him as a human being. The only person who ever treated me with any sense of love and respect and all I did was treat him like garbage. There is nothing that tells me who he was, there is nothing left to even tell me of that.

I just recently started talking to my mother again, and thankfully, she was able to give me pictures of my dad and I when I was just a kid. It makes me happy. The memories aren’t there and all of this is a grim reminder that I have lost a tremendous individual. And I would give anything to get even a shred of what I had lost back.

Be thankful for what you have…